When Being “Nice” Is Just Another Word for Being Spineless

Let me tell you a little story about a missed opportunity. A group of nonprofit leaders came together to sign a letter to their federal lawmakers. 

Not a flamethrower of a letter. Not a disrupt-the-status-quo letter. Just a mild, thoughtfully worded, pretty damn polite appeal. The kind of thing federal offices get every week—if not every day.

We were hopeful that one of the big-name, high-profile nonprofit organizations would lend their voice. You know, the kind that gets callbacks from legislators and invites to roundtables. And to my delight, they did! Their name was on the letter. We all let out a sigh of relief. 

Strength in numbers. Visibility. Credibility. Momentum.

But then came the call.

One of their staff, clearly mortified, rang me up to say: “Our CEO wants us off the letter. They feel it’s too… harsh.”

<checks notes> Are we talking about the same letter?

Listen, I’m a former Senate staffer. I’ve written the fiery letters, the tactical ones, the ones with teeth, and the ones with sugar coating. 

And this letter? Wasn't even close to harsh. It was decaf. It was “Midwest nice.” It was “gosh, we’d really appreciate it if you didn’t light everything on fire and dismantle public support systems.”

But even if it had been bold — isn’t that kind of the point?

Advocacy isn’t about being everyone’s favorite nonprofit. It’s about standing up for your mission, your community, your values. Especially when it’s hard. Especially when others are watching. That’s leadership.

So when a CEO backs out because they don’t want to ruffle feathers? That’s not caution — that’s cowardice.

And worse, it undermines the whole sector. Because what you’re signaling is: “We’ll stand up only when it’s comfortable. We’ll fight for justice only if it doesn’t mess up our donor newsletter.”

That’s not leadership. That’s PR management.

I don’t know this CEO personally. Maybe they’re risk-averse. Maybe they don’t understand advocacy. Or maybe they think influence comes from being liked, rather than being principled. Either way, they missed the mark.

Because advocacy isn’t about playing it safe — it’s about standing shoulder to shoulder with your peers when it counts.

To my fellow nonprofit leaders: your silence is not neutral. It’s noticed. And when the stakes are this high, playing it safe is just another way of saying you’re OK with the status quo.

We need bold. We need brave. We need better.

Helping Nonprofits Lead with Confidence

At Snyder Strategies, we help nonprofits build the courage, clarity, and confidence to lead boldly—especially when the stakes are high. We know that advocacy can feel risky, but staying silent is often the bigger risk.

Whether it’s navigating internal hesitations, aligning leadership around a strong message, or deciding when and how to take a public stand, we equip organizations with the strategy, messaging, and training they need to show up powerfully. Because in today’s environment, nonprofit leaders can’t afford to be timid—they need to be trusted, strategic advocates.

That’s where we come in. Call me.

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