What To Do When Everything Feels Out of Control: An Advocate’s Guide

If you’re feeling like everything is on fire right now, you’re not alone. Lately, I’ve been hearing the same thing from so many nonprofit leaders, colleagues, and friends:

“What can we do? We feel totally out of control. Everything is happening at once, and we don’t know where to start.”

First of all, I get it. I’ve been there too—lately, we’ve all been there. As advocates, organizers, and nonprofit leaders, we carry the weight of our communities' pain, and when the world feels like it’s spinning out, we want to fix it all. Right now. Immediately.

But here’s what I remind myself when I’m overwhelmed—and what I offer to you, too.

1. Remember: We've Been Here Before.

Especially for those of us in the LGBTQ+ community, this isn’t our first political storm. I came of age during the 80s and 90s—when the fear was constant, the backlash was brutal, and the path forward was unclear. It was hard. But we didn’t give up.

We organized. We marched. We built systems of care. We found joy. We survived—and we learned how to fight smarter. We are still here because we are resilient.

You are not new to this. You have tools. You have power. You are not alone.

2. Find the Place Where You Can Make a Difference.

You can’t fix everything—and you don’t have to. Ask yourself:

Where can I plug in and make an impact today, this week, this month?

For me, it often means getting involved locally:

• Showing up at school board meetings.

• Calling out harmful policy in a city council agenda.

• Donating time, money, or energy to a campaign or a mutual aid effort.

• Supporting a trans youth group, housing org, or abortion fund.

Find your thing—and throw yourself into it. Not everything, just something.

3. Build Your Circle of Co-Conspirators.

When everything feels chaotic, connection is your lifeline. Find others doing the work—whether it's policy advocacy, voter engagement, harm reduction, youth organizing, whatever.

Ask:

• What are you working on right now?

• How can I support you?

• Can we coordinate efforts?

• What’s giving you hope?

  
  

This work gets easier (and more strategic) when we’re in conversation, not silos.

4. You’re Allowed to Feel Out of Control—But Don’t Let It Paralyze You.

We’re in a time of coordinated attacks on basic rights and freedoms. If you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or hopeless sometimes, that’s not a personal failure. That’s your humanity showing up.

The trick is not to stuff it down or ignore it—but to find forward motion anyway. Take a breath. Take a step. Reach out. Move one thing forward.

5. Don’t Burn Out. The Work Needs You.

This is a long game. The people trying to dismantle rights and democracy are playing the long game—and we need to as well.

You are not a machine. Rest is strategy. Joy is resistance.

Take breaks. Laugh with your people. Eat something green. Dance. Sleep. Cry. Watch dumb TV. Go outside.

You matter, even when you’re not doing. Especially then.

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TL;DR? Here's Your Re-Centering Checklist:

🔁 We’ve been here before. You’ve got tools.

🎯 Find your small piece of the puzzle and start there.

🤝 Connect with others and build power together.

🌪 Let the chaos swirl—but don’t let it knock you down.

🛑 Take care of you. We need you for the long haul.

If this resonates with you, share it with your people. And if you’re still feeling stuck, drop me a note—I’ll remind you that you’re not alone.

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